Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Randomize
