Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
