I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
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Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
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She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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