I don't usually arrange sex via text message
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
