I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Randomize
