Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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