I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
