Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
