dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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