quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
