he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
