Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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