Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Randomize
