my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
