You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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