we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
