I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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