Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I can text with my tongue
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
