it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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