Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize