OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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