we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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