I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
