i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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