grandma shit on top of the toilet
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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