I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
barbara walters just said penis...
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
No I am not eating basil off your cock
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
