Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Michael Bay diarrhea
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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