he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Someone signed my nipple.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
