i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
