I wish I only lived at night.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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