when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
