bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
