If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
