My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
