Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Randomize
