Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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