she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Dicks are not precious.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
