Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
