I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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