how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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