i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
did i just pee glitter
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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