that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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