Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Reggie can tackle my bush.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
If I die, sorry about rent.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
