you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
