we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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