two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
