i'm signing you up for texting rehab
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
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