How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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