just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
