high people should be assigned attendants
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
