is your mom at the bar?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
