Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize