Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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