You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
