ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
They took my balls.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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