the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
